foreign spirituality with the twist so as you will have heard from Daniel's intro if you're listening to the podcast we have on uh we have the pleasure of having on friend of the show and previous guest on the show to talk about his new book kasha's love purpose uh thanks so much for coming for coming on Todd love ball Jr of course I appreciate you guys having me on of course it's excellent so it's nice to meet you after getting to know you through the episode that you and Daniel did uh we talked a little pre-show behind the scenes and we wanted to start with just a really big question kind of of what inspires you and your writing and what inspired you to write so we'll throw it out to you and kind of start big uh yeah so growing up I was a a big athlete I was a big football player but in my heart I was a spiritual writer I loved writing poems I loved entertainment I thought I was going to be the next R B singer um and I just had a passion for journaling writing notes and as I got older people kept telling me and all you can't do that you're a football player you're an athlete you're a trainer just put the book down uh in the background eventually I finally got to just putting my writing out there and not so much the first book but the second book I got lucky some publishing companies liked my style of writing uh but overall my main main focus is my wife really my motivation of writing is my relationship with my wife some of the experiences that we've been through where she's from Poland different cultures different uprising she basically raised me as a husband a father and so a lot of the motivation a lot of the stuff you especially in this latest book that you will see is she's the foundation of it it was interesting to me because I I felt like in the interview and then looking at your books and we'll talk about this one but I kind of peaked some of the other ones too just to get the feeling of the overall kind of trend of your writing and there was a sort of interesting question to me of sort of like finding identity to throughout it and you know when you listen to these interviews one of the things we hope is that you hear other people's stories and in little Parts kind of resonate so no kidding my dad had a football scholarship too he was a part of like the Chicago vocational school where Dick Butkus went and he was like a couple years before Dick Butkus so I've always had the thought if I ever meet Dick Butkus I'm just curious if you remember my dad because he was captain of the team and they won state so maybe he would I don't know maybe maybe uh but you know he went and uh maybe in some way similar to part of what you experienced he came out as an athlete and he went to Kansas and then he got clipped and he blew out his knee and when he lost his uh football identity he kind of wasn't sure what to do with himself because he had kind of grown up with this athletic identity and he kind of talked about pretty honest he came back and said it was hard because you know he had this whole identity built around Athletics and he had to kind of like find a different part of himself which I felt was something that you had talked about even in the other episode too um actually dead on it you're we have the same experience my dad went through the college drinks busted his knee he was he was for sure living vicariously through me and I think that was the dynamic part of me being pushed to be a football player because he didn't reach his dream he ended up getting a scholarship San Diego State right when he went to the Rams training camp he busted up his knee um fast forward to that identity was kind of transferred down to me so I've I I'm not going to say I was a confused kid but um the artist in me just wouldn't go away even though I did end up pursuing the fitness realm of football I still always kept the passion for writing and my wife over the years always kept feeding passions our stories I mean I I never thought I would go to Poland and I've been to Poland because of my wife I never thought I'd go to Kenya and do Mission work she was the motivation behind that so it's a big topic I'm sure people are going to watch this and go man he's obsessed with his wife [Laughter] what were you talking about before the before we started the record on the podcast there are good obsessions it's good yes they're a healthy good Obsession I won't get put in the crazy house just yet yeah yeah yeah so Todd you've been you mean you you mentioned this um just now like this is not so this is your third book or your this is number three yes this is your third book so you know every every story has um its own journey within the creative process right but then there's also kind of like a life process happening simultaneously because we don't exist in it it's like you're a working dude you got what you have a wife obviously you have children you have a business to run a household to maintain and so you're doing your writing right as life is happening yes I always find it kind of fascinating to to hear not only like people's inspiration which you know you said as a kind of like your wife and her and your journey together if you would and I'm gonna ask you to do two things at once so I I apologize you know I'll try Okay uh so two at once if if you would kind of talk about like you know to give because people this is promotion for your book right you know we're interested in doing that and people will watch and you know uh what's up to the Polish Community because I know they're gonna you know support you on this and I appreciate it you know absolutely um but if you would you know kind of talk a little bit about the story to people who who are on familiar with with you guys which is more than not but then also like weave in a little bit of like life circumstances that were happening while you were writing maybe and and my overall purpose of doing this is trying to give people an idea on how you could take like your life circumstance and channel them through something and make something out of it you know uh man yes I can sum one part up sure I'm actually right now I'm talking to you guys because of the book I am I have a school interview next week uh I'm people are meeting me for the first time and it's because of Love basically uh the love between me and my wife um we were going through some struggles after covid with our business and it caused us to get stronger and get closer together and the foundation of the book is interracial love um I touch on spiritualness I touch on the fact that no matter what's going on in life especially in our case if we focused on each other things just started turning out for the good man my business slowly built itself back up my wife had some health issues she got over and as I the more I put into this book the better things got in life and that is the theme of the book so a quick synopsis so to speak would be a young man named Trevor uh his grandfather passes away who he was just building a relationship with he doesn't know this but he finds Love Letters from his grandfather's War days over in World War II it's kind of interesting because it's not his grandma who the love letters are from he opens up the letters and he doesn't just read the letters he ends up experiencing falls into these letters and experiences each love and he finds out what Love's all about as he's reading these letters spiritual things start happening to him he starts getting healthier his business starts booming just great spiritual things start happening in life his family life starts getting better so he gets done reading the letters and he has to find out why all these spiritual things are happening and who is this love and he sends him on a journey all the way to Poland to find out why these things are happening and I relate that synopsis because that is exactly uh what happened in my case me and my wife uh our circumstances of how we met I just I think it's Destiny we we ran into each other it it sounds boring but there's a Destiny part to it we ran into each other at a bowling alley uh I know nothing's crazy but um there was a movie that me and my guy were supposed to see there was something that she was supposed to do both of those events got canceled and we ended up seeing each other and we said hello to each other on a whim I couldn't even understand what she was saying our first three conversations because her accent was so strong um but just as uh we got as soon as we got together I just knew we were meant to not just for us there's the books called cautious love purpose so there's a purpose for caution just not us getting married but us being together and making an impact yeah no no I was I was just gonna say one more thing about maybe I can Circle back to what Daniel was saying as far as uh the carrying over her life this book is going to give me a platform for me to have better relations with Polish people that might not understand uh Black Americans and we can dive more into that but um there are a lot of Polish people that when we meet have a lot of cultural questions we were in Poland I mean they were looking at me like I was an alien and it wasn't racial it was more curiosity it was more trying to learn as I'm learning their culture and the fact that you don't see many black Americans that speak Polish so um there's a there's a lot to unpack with all in the book but the foundation was the love for my wife yeah the cultural thing has really like spoke to me too you know again you listen to interviews and you you know again part of our idea is that you relate to different parts of the story and so for me I had this amazing experience back in the 90s where I met all these people from the former former Soviet Union just like boom in some little weird twist which eventually resulted in me having a couple of great kids and the whole story goes out of like you know whole cultural cross-cultural connection and um it was something kind of interesting you know because I all of a sudden was connected with a whole nother culture that um uh I never would have had a connection to I mean it's funny in that you know my grandpa was from Russia my grandma was from Poland so I had some whatever karmic Roots going back there somewhere oh yeah for sure but it was interesting because I met all these people and they were obviously very different and uh uh but wonderfully so and all of a sudden I kind of grew through knowing people from a different part of the world who just brought different thoughts ideas ways of looking at things into my life it was like it was like a transformative uh little period for me for sure that continues on to the present day but yeah so I write to that cross-cultural connection too it's kind of deep right oh absolutely I still wake up and I'm still trying to learn the language so I'm still uncovering stuff as an adult my wife and I uh this will be coming up next year will be 21 years of marriage so there's 20 years of different experiences I I tell the story all the time to some of my clients and family that growing up in high school you learn about World War II you learn it in your history books never really thinking that you're going to go to Poland and actually be there and when I was there it was just kind of a I I had no words for it I had no explanation uh uh I felt like I was meant to be there I know I'm gonna sound crazy when I start getting into that kind of stuff but I felt that me being there there was more purpose than just showing up in some small town in Poland and I just love the music and I feel like if I can be come 80 fluent my impact would be even stronger you sometimes there's this feeling well one of the things about this particular podcast is no matter how matter what you say it's not crazy right there's no crazy on this podcast I I just feel like when I say it out loud like oh who's this guy I swear to God I was just texting somebody today about this uh and saying you know sometimes you gotta like feel that inner thought that sounds a little crazy and just like say it and trust it because there's a truth to it too you know and even if other people won't get it you gotta like there's something in that you can kind of feel that feeling like oh this is true even though it might sound crazy to other people well Todd like when we were when I was in Italy last month uh we we went to a a town in Tuscany and we were going to do a little Bike Tour uh but we had to kind of walk to the meeting place and so as we're walking down the street uh I I looked over at my fiance Bridget and I said um I can see in my mind Nazis walking on this road yeah she's like well that's weird and I was like yeah I don't know just I don't know I could see it like I almost feel the ground shaking and so then when the guy that we met at our guide we met him in like the Town Square and he said yeah this whole area just where we were was like where how the Nazis came into their Little Town Square he showed us where they bombed this and they took that out and whatever so to your point Eric it's like sometimes you get some you know some feeling and it's there's there's a flow like you tap into it you know it's like turning a radio station uh absolutely I I so I really went through this but I also put it in the book for an experience with the main character when he first went to Poland uh but there was a restaurant that when we first went there we're talking nobody for about 10 miles to the left nobody's about 10 miles to the right there's this little old house and you pull up to this house and I told my wife I'm like hey man I'm hungry what are we doing here and we pull up to this house this old lady comes out and she points to her mouth and says you want to eat I'm shaking my head yes she holds my hand drags me over to this I mean beautiful deck the house is up upon a lake with a big mountain you can't even see anything but the mountain in the lake she tells me to sit down she points at there's like these old cardboard cutouts of pictures of fish and fries she points at it asked me what I want I pointed at it she brings me this beer quiz pours in this little syrup that I've never had before my life tells me to drink the beer while she waits for the food she screams out at her husband who's in the water fishing the guys the guy screams out in in Victory yells out he's holding up fish he walks up to me he's got a stack of maybe four or five fish and he's saying something in Polish I don't know what it is I'm pretty sure which one do you want now that I think about it and I pointed out one of the fish he took a big smile walked back to the back Man 10 minutes later him and his wife they bring out this plate of fish fries beer here I am sitting with this beer I've never tasted fish I've never had looking out over an open water and View and I'm about to eat and wifey's setting up we're about to eat the family the couple that that is here this I guess this is this is their job they come they bring their plates they sit down at the table with us and they have food with us and talking polish like I like I'm fluent I knew nothing what they said but the love the love there and the concept of that I will I'll never forget I'm pretty sure that couple is not there anymore this was maybe 12 13 years ago but um it's just cultural things like that I'm not sure I would see that anywhere else that's cool yeah I had parties like that I went to back in the day where people would be talking Russian and I'm like I don't think I know anything of what's being said I could catch a word here or there yeah just the vibe of it and yeah a lot of times the warmth there was one of the guys I knew from Georgia but Europe Georgia and uh he would kind of go like I respect you let's drink you know just like exactly yeah like what you would think you'd be like okay I respect you too yeah I've been in a lot of people say that to me in America you know I respect you okay cool I respect you too yeah yeah that's why we went we was funny we went here because I you know my my ex-wife is Lee ocean her family's from La like from Laos you know and they they speak Laotian so it's like a totally different dialect there's no you know I probably only know a handful of words you know what I'm saying but like it took it took a little bit for them to warm up to me but then once they did I couldn't understand you know what they're in some spoke English and some english was just like a an accompaniment like ketchup you know yeah and uh there's just something about like being in a state where you're accepted that transcends language you know and you you can have this you know a sense of camaraderie and maybe maybe to your point people will say that maybe I'll say the word that I want to say right there's love there you know yeah um whether it's you know and however those you know usually from us it's from a you know uh one lover to another lover and connecting with the family you know but maybe you could be in different situations too not to just keep it strictly the romantic love but to you know have things that transcend language you know to really like kind of feel that connection that the kind of like you know Oneness if you will with other people who don't share language don't share culture never met them before you know what I'm saying that you could still feel like oh you guys still feel familiar you know right uh well I I feel that a lot uh within the post Community I think most of it is because they know I love their culture the fact that I know a little polish it took the time to learn something I get a lot of respect especially from the botches the grandmas of the world there's I can I always feel the love from them there's never been a moment where there's not a respect that that I don't uh love my wife but the culture I'm big with mother-in-laws do you have to like uh just like eat the pierogies and uh the little Portugues and stuff like that yeah there's only one pierogi that I like it's the meat pierogi and my wife for for me my kids didn't like the Polish food so I only ate it a little bit but uh uh the Pierogi the meat pierogies my one of the faves yeah my uncle passed away he would make his own you know sit there in the kitchen my brother would sometimes make them with him to talk about polish culture I could do the potato yeah yeah I couldn't do the sauerkraut you could never get me to eat the sauerkraut I just can't do it um well I mean uh the other part that kind of jumped out to me maybe between the two books and I and it's something that you alluded to earlier so maybe I'll jump back to it was you have a book called love against Society right it's one of your other books yes and you have some like even in the intro you asked these really interesting questions and I think that comes through when you're writing really strong to me not that I've had a chance to read a ton of it yet but you know in the segments I read I'm like okay so we really you write you write from a very like heartfelt place you're writing with a lot of feeling obviously and you're writing from the point of view of like you really have something you're trying to say you know you definitely have you're not just telling a story but you're like you're there's something you're trying to communicate that's even you know uh deeper than just the story itself that comes through really strong is that something you think about in your writing absolutely you had covered it and I think Daniel had said our our art kind of carries over and transforms from our life and so the love of society concept s came from uh when I first when I first met my wife uh our our marriage we we got married pretty fast uh admittedly so I wouldn't if my daughter was doing the same route that we went I would have some questions um we she moved in with me after dating three months we got married in month four she got pregnant month six anyway um there was a lot of Kano tones from both sides on her side of the family and on mine that weren't necessarily supporting and I'm probably being nice when I say say it that way um so I always had questions in my head as far as when I write this I wonder is anybody else going through this I wonder is there are we the only ones that have where the black side of the family is questioning if the Polish side is really in love or is it just about the papers or vice versa where her family's questioning uh look there's no question I I probably said this in the other podcast but uh my mother-in-law is a prime example of when Polish people come to Chicago to learn English they watch the news and unfortunately on the news uh the portrayal sometimes of the Black American is a little aggressive so [Music] I wanted to put that out there and kind of have that as far as like Hey we're living this life this isn't just some new special about race relations this is everyday life I can even tie it in the uh kasha's love purpose one of the main uh things that got this idea in my head was when my wife and I were in Poland a lot of them had never left the city that we were in and they had a lot of questions about like where I was from what what tribe I got a lot of questions about what tribe I was from uh and it made me wonder it made me think about man in World War II there had to be it had to be there had to be a a black that loved the Polish there had to be an Asian person that loved a Mexican it just had to be and I get that interracial marriage wasn't legal until 69 that doesn't mean that there wasn't love way before that and so that that's what made me kind of have the concept of going back and forth to show the comparisons of how far we've come but how similar we still are when it comes to love and interracial marriage well that's kind of the story of like Trevor's grandfather in the book right yes I don't know the whole story no you hit one reveal the whole story that I mean you hit it on the no that that's kind of what's happening to me yeah obviously it's almost like in the way it's describe because it's in the early parts of the book right so the prologue going in the first chapter it's almost like he connects with her at first sight or something he kind of recognizes something in her right away very quickly you know and it's kind of like when you read it you're kind of like okay it's she's beautiful but there's something deeper than that going on obviously you know you oh yeah you see well we've all seen beautiful people and you're like oh that's an attractive person but something deeper happens obviously in him in the scene he's almost kind of awestruck yeah in that moment or like uh yeah almost like kind of semi-speechless or something because Something's Happened between the two of them that's very profound that you're that you're capturing in that moment and then they're on completely opposite sides of of a universe almost right yeah the best part about that is to come full circle that scene is how the book begins that scene is where the book ends it comes it all comes kind of Full Circle together and I call it a treasure hunt of love because the reader is left with their choice of how this is all going to come about and how it comes back to relate to that particular moment uh between the one of the main characters Charlie and Kasha yeah so Charlie's like Trevor's grandfather right yes kind of like there's almost like two protagonists in the story Trevor and Charlie and then you know gotcha too being kind of even more so somebody asked me is the book titled a phrase or a question uh and I said yes um just because if when you read it um there is more purpose than just one and you are left as a reader to find out who you think the purpose is for Kasha there's way more than one purpose and there's a lot of different layers to this and keep in mind there's different Generations um so the readers left to for their own imagination of what was cautious love purpose and was it just one or was it just one Kasha okay okay so Todd let me ask you like you know and you know sort of related to the to the you know to the book and this and in your own experience like it's probably far too long for you know the the podcast but like you know can you can you tell me how you guys have navigated some of the you know interracial societal kind of difficulties that you know you guys have experienced in your lives because I mean I know you I I know you you know and we've talked about quite a bit of them but you know to kind of give people again this is like in like life inspiration yielding a piece of art you know you know what I I always had the platform of being colorblind when it came to relationships uh look I'm not ignorant I'm I know there's the Black Culture there's the Polish culture there's the American culture whatever you want to call it um but my wife and I have always came in the foundation of what would we do if we were in their shoes as far as how we approach if somebody comes to it like for example I use I use this example a lot when I am trying to explain to people the reaction I get in in Poland when I go we went to her great uncle's house uh one time in Poland and he does he obviously doesn't speak English but he's never left the town so we're sitting around the table there's about 15 of us and this guy is staring at me the whole meal through he says something in Polish and Todd and I was like okay obviously he's talking about me and then he says something else so I asked my wife hey what was the conversation about and he couldn't get over he kept asking what tribe is he from how long do I live now here's where I call myself a little different or a pharaoh when it comes to this my wife was all mad like oh he's acting he's acting ignorant he's asking ignorant questions but I was like well he's never left here right this is like an alien coming onto his land right and instead of what most people do and we have this climate in the world right now where your first response is oh oh he's racist oh I'm mad I everybody I hate everybody's racist uh let's take a step back actually and instead think with a different mind frame right not everybody's racist because somebody says something and I feel like me and my wife because we are in a two culture uh marriage we always had to acknowledge um just to see one color the way we raised our kids the way to the to the nail of the way we shoot we named our kids Polish names because I knew in the community they were going to be seen as black so I wanted to make sure my daughter's name was Anastasia and I wanted to name my son Dominic and so that would strike up conversations it all it does it now my daughter's in college she's in a predominantly black neighborhood and people are like well the name Anastasia that gives her the platform to be like well my mom's from Poland this is my other side of my culture and um I'm going to tie this back to the book here this was I I truly believe this was my wife and I's purpose in life was to we met because she was going to meet a black husband who was patient and who loved the culture enough to know that when people said bad stuff ignorantly about black people to take it for what it was um and to be a pillar I I've seen this I always say I don't know if this is Daniel we probably laughed about this before but um I always tell people that our relationship works because when we are in an all-polish setting I am not south side taishan and what I mean by that is I I've had friends who are in interrelational relationships and when they show up they become the angry black guy and they they when they sit in the corner and there's a a certain aspect of they're feeding into the stereotypes that people want to have whereas when I come into a room I wanted to learn the language so there can be a communication I wanted to be able to say hello in their language so they see I made the effort and there was a different mindset right I wanted them to have yes you're going to learn language on the news and you're going to see the bad but I wanted them to have another person to look at as far as what was the purpose of our relationship and I felt like me and my wife we have a lot there's still a lot to do and we still have a lot of platform that goes into when we do our mission work in Kenya that goes into our daughter's impact when she's gonna in making Society what our son's going to do um recognizing man our kids are blessed I'll be honest and I feel like part of it is because my wife and I have set the foundation and the purpose of love and I think they're they're gonna do something great in life because of what they see and because of how they've seen their parents go to Kenya and and give their soul because they've seen their parents go to Poland and you got a hands a handful of night African Kenyan babies you got a handful of Poland babies and we treat them the same with the same love so I think I answered I think the question was how do we approach uh that I think we kind of I think that's your question is basically our purpose I mean it could really be in those situations that people's hearts feel like they're in the right place too they might just say it tell you like well you're from this place and she's from that place and you're just not going to understand each other or something and that might be with people are saying that with all good intention maybe right you know it's not you're not trying to be you know they're trying to be protective almost or something maybe for sure that was for sure my family side I know my dad was oh you know you're going to have difficulties uh you don't I mean shoot when we first met I I my knowledge of Poland was Zero To None So uh definitely a protection side but again because of the climate and a lot of people it it takes somebody to just take a step back and and see it for that way like you said and not see it as a oh they're just Haiti yeah yeah and it's it is a truth and you can I I don't know it's such a a painful subject but there's no doubt that you could go the Poland or go to Russia or go and people will have racist attitudes it's just a truth right everywhere yeah yeah absolutely truth and uh not even like there's any particular experience like you say you're in a town you've never met anyone you know uh but you still like some of those things people still carry right so you're you're kind of fighting up potentially obviously you know your wife isn't that kind of person and other people are not going to be that way but there are people who are going to have those attitudes right for sure absolutely yeah um yeah it's so this question comes up and I don't even know sometimes how to you know it's it's a it's a hard question around this but um all right I'll tell an anecdote and I'll see if it makes any sense and if it doesn't make any sense then you could just tell me I was like one of my experiences I was like on a tour with my family driving through the South back when I was a teenager and just by like the twist of fate I was reading I play guitar you know we're all musical folks here so I play guitar and I Love Jimi Hendrix who doesn't who plays guitars is there somebody who does it yeah and I was reading like a biography of Hendrix as I'm on this road trip and um and there's was a certain part in his life where he had this kind of Terror in him where he had a connection to sort of black community black culture and then he also had his artistic expression of who he was and he was trying to figure out ways of even balancing that out where he was like okay you know in what ways am I going to be a black artist in what ways am I going to be an artist overall and what's the connection between those two things and I think he felt some pressure even like to you know make sure that he was representing his roots from where he was from and not entirely always knowing how to do that and as I was reading the book I thought well that's a that's a that's a difficult pressure for someone you know to have to feel all of that you know and uh and so I feel like this is such a a complicated thing to be in and then in part of your story I felt like there's questions of identity going through like your whole story when I was listening to the podcast of like how do you connect to these different parts of yourself you talk about that even when you go to Africa so it's kind of a big question but I guess I'm throwing it out to you like maybe in the biggest possible way were those things you thought about you know or did those like the people like did people ask you about that like how do you connect all these different parts of your identity together or something I I you I think it was more that's a good question I know it's stupid question and it's it's so it's a weird one and I was thinking how do you even ask these kinds of questions because they're so deep right no I I think part of the identity I guess questions would be okay so I married a Polish Girl right I married a Polish woman I'm in love with the Polish culture uh we do a lot of uh how do you say polish traditions um so I guess my question would be look in the mirror making sure you're not losing I guess your culture you grew up with or you're not ingraining your kids with uh here's a here's a tough topic and and I think maybe this can clear up a little bit of so my daughter went off to USC and uh I'm in a pretty Suburban suburb if if you know what I mean and she went off to USC and said that daddy you didn't give me the ultimate cultural experience now I laughed at that because I was like uh your mom is Polish and your dad is black I'm not sure how much cultural infusion you can get but I got what she was saying as far as yeah I guess the Black Culture life she was trying to insinuate that I didn't give her and so that's when I kind of look in the mirror and go okay what does she mean by that like what did she not get um and it's it's like you said it's a confusing identity where this is what my dad had talked about hey your kids aren't going to have an identity because they're going to be black and who are they going to associate with and then are they going to associate with the Polish and I feel like that's a job for me and my wife did a good job overall of be good people uh do both cultures um obviously if you are feeling hate from one side or the other they're hating on both sides really um and then I think another side of this topic is whenever I am in a Polish setting for example we went to a play last week that was a Polish play about a young World War II uh soldier who passed away but he was a poet whenever I go to something like that there's no doubt the elephant in the room is I'm the black guy that knows a little polish right and I get the reaction is still the same first they like okay hey everything is in Polish do you know that do you know that are you sure you know that and I understand that and so me trying to make the identity of of hey don't just see me as black tied see me as Todd kind of that's also why some people ask me why I didn't put my picture on the book I didn't want them to pick up the book look in the back and go oh hey this black guy's writing a story about some girl named Kasha or or about the Polish culture I wanted them to pick up the book read the storyline see what it was about open it and then when you get done at the end of the book there's pictures of me and my wife in Poland with the kids hanging out with the grandparents uh and what it does is you get done reading a book you have images you have the feelings you have the emotions of the book in your soul and then you flip and you see me and my wife and the kids and it just kind of pulls the book together yeah one of the things that oh sorry Daniel yeah so like I think this is interesting part of the conversation you um and it's really like you know so so Eric and I you know study East Asian philosophy and spiritual practice okay this is not what we were raised with right we were raised you know more on the Catholic side of things right and yet we have drifted voluntarily over to the things that we find that have more meaning for us right and you know myself personally like I'm not full I'm not full Arab I'm half you know the other half is like Italian and polish and my last name is Polish so and my grandmother spoke polish like I'm you know believe me like pure doggies Chuck Nina and like you know all the stuff that's what I'm used to all the holidays you know Dylan everything was yeah my experience still on everything you know Nana Babushka is all that you know what I'm saying like all these things right so but I identified with the Palestinian side with the Arab side because growing up that had the strongest amount of culture that spoke to me you know what I'm saying and so I drifted towards that so I know far more Arabic than I know anything else you know and that's when I go out to eat like I prefer to eat that food what do I identify as identify as that because that's who I believe that myself is or am right and so when I hear like you know your daughters say these kinds of you know ask you this kind of question I'm sure that she's not the only one who gets that you know there's a lot of people in mixed cultures mixed race households so on and so forth which is good but that means we're moving forward um but then it it also shows that like whatever you identify as that's your culture like that is your culture because there's something there that like Taps into your soul that allows you to feel like I'm at home here you know like you were looking for a place and you know part of it is like you know I mean I don't want to sound like bad you know what I'm saying but I'm gonna just say what I'm gonna just say what I'm gonna say like the the current culture you know in the African-American Community is current and it's since since they've been here you know post you know like slavery and and on but this doesn't account for all the time where they were in existence before that long long long long way longer than just 400 years before that and the the Polish culture the Russian any culture that you can tap into you that's that's been in existence and an evolving of course but it has deep it has Deep Roots and so like you know you and I have talked about this and going back to Kenya you know and a 23andMe is a new technology but before that How would how would one person know where they were from I mean I know what my my family speaks right they speak Arabic they make Arabic food they lived in another country then they came here okay right but if they were always born here and never knew where they were from how would I to be as an American who was looking for actual culture like right a language in food and customs and religion and whatever how would I find my way through how would I find a way that feels like home for me you know what I'm saying and I don't know how it is for you but when I'm around like my family stuff like I I almost feel more of myself and like I know people just by the little jokes that are Intercultural jokes that you can only get when you really understand it you know what I'm saying right um and it feels it feels good so you know for your you know just for your daughter's sake if it's like you showed her the culture that you that brought you peace you know that gives you excitement and um I I you know I I hope that that this conversation can kind of like give people some feeling that like whatever you identify as right if that makes you feel more whole then that's where you should move towards you know whatever it is and well that's actually I've never looked at it that way until you just said it that way and you both covered it at the beginning as far as identity when I met my wife my identity really culture and basically everything that I knew was football and sport that was that was my family culture that's all we did and it wasn't just obviously you talk about hip-hop you talk about music you talk about the Arts or whatever but that's what I and so when I left sport and I did not want to do sport anymore there was definitely a lostness as far as searching for a culture and of course there goes my wife smashed into me with the Polish culture and there's definitely I'm not going to say uh I I you probably can use the word savior moment but I feel like my wife saved me at the time that we met and me being saved by her the culture came with it um I I always people go man how what's the one thing as far as the culture and the interracial marriage what's the one thing that has made your marriage I I think we have a good marriage I'm not gonna lie which what's the one thing that's made it good and I have said because I fell in love with not just her I fell in love with her culture and that has made our relationship I promise that has been the strongest part as far as she is a strong she has a strong Rich culture and I just slid into that to the point now where I think my mother-in-law likes me a little better than her but which from my conversations is a huge shift by the way for people oh yes this is like me you know that's a that's a big I didn't want to bring it up on here but I'm glad you did that's a big admission man so that's good no my mother-in-law definitely um she was at my first book signing two weeks ago um and you can feel the like yeah that's my that's my son-in-law right you can feel it so we've definitely come a long way yeah yeah well I wonder about it in our thing because you know for Daniel and I we do a lot of stuff that's like outside of our Our Roots and it's never like I'm going to reject and I don't reject the places that you know my polish roots and my Eastern European I'm not rejecting them but I get what Daniel's saying there are other parts of things that just spoke to me right you know but like the thing that you know I think a lot a lot it's kind of like a major question of this podcast and a funny way underneath the surface is that like I'm and I and I'm I'm not Tibetan I'm not Chinese I'm not gonna pretend to be you know uh that would feel artificial to me um and whatever the version is that's being produced by Daniel interacting with this coming for he comes from or me interacting with these things is going to be something that's sort of new right it's kind of like jazz or something right like a whole bunch of music comes together and then you got Jazz right it's a lot of things coming it's going to be something new so I would imagine for your daughter and I think about this with you with my kids too it's just going to be something new something new got created here right because Eric you have a daughter in college too yeah yeah exactly I was when I was listening to your interview time I was like she's 20. Northwestern and she's trying to find her space and it's not easy to find your space in a new place right oh man and imagine so mine's 19 sophomore in Hollywood of all places at USC and uh they're gonna mention she does modeling too she oh yes oh okay she's in yes okay good for her we we have a beautiful mix and she models and it's just um she's got a strong uh uh will and I I feel like and it's so weird because I I ran off when it was my dad and them and tried to find myself and found my wife and I feel like I'm looking at her the same way probably my parents looked at me like oh my goodness he's crazy what is wrong with him and um it's just a generational learning process um I'm I'm positive uh because she's going to look up and go man I had Mom and Dad the whole time there and her foundation uh will be she's not only one culture but she's been blessed and Rich to with too so I'll I hope I hope I know I know you probably have hopes for your kids too you never know but I hope well you get this Foundation going and like you're always like you know you do have a foundation if it's coming from these multiple places that's a foundation you know yeah yeah yeah we we took so uh I one of our family trips was to Kenya both of them were affected differently my son and her um and so again we they've been able to see both we've taken them to Poland my daughter knows polish so I I think what she will eventually come to is what I feel like I have what she realizes how beautiful she is obviously but the fact that she can speak Polish and her and and what she looks like the Avenues that she can get into and the impact she can make I'm hoping she can see it well we you know we we tend to to trash our culture on here you know on the American culture and appropriately critical yeah he's being nice appropriately critical I like that one yeah love against Society I think it's therapy like the tagline for our show we might steal it from your book s but if I could give credit is that like we do live in a very kind of open space where you could have a a guy from Southern California meet a Polish woman and be completely ingrained in the culture and that be supported by the community that you have found here and that you have created here you know what I'm saying that me as uh you know an american-born first generation you know Palestinian descendant can learn my own culture and then be able to have I don't know connection with so many different things in in in and around my neighborhood I don't I'm not even like going across the world to do this and then to be able to talk all about it to me that is like that's probably the greatest aspect of this is the openness now that lead with No Boundaries well then you don't have any boundaries so she can go off the rails you know but from a positive note if you take that kind of like open I guess aspect of the culture if you really plug yourself in somewhere the opportunities for you to be in something are really only limited by your own imagination for sure for sure yeah oh it's okay trust me no I it wouldn't if you if I was limited to what people would have told me I definitely there's been plenty of times where uh and my my wife is sitting here now uh there's been plenty of times where uh we did something in the Polish Community and I'm sure there was like Hey as a black guy should you take that step um but confidently I've done enough I feel like like Daniel said um I am very backed by the community because they see the love in exchange so I I definitely could feel that at heart Daniel yeah yeah but one of the things I think well I guess we'll all kind of throw a two cents in this yeah but yeah so one of the things I think about like love when you really look at love between people it is kind of a little a little mysterious right you know why it is that two people connect the way they do and it's obviously in your in your book Todd because this Charlie moment with Kasha there and the first thing it's like how do these two people connect in this way but something happens you know and if you're going to be a little Asian philosophy there's some kind of karmic bomb between these two people even though they might be on different sides of the planet you know and so these so you never know where love is going to strike you never know where it's going to strike and I think to be able to follow it when it strikes sometimes you have to kind of like go outside the comfort zone or go outside the box you know and it almost feels to me like that might be part of the purpose right to pull people out of their comfort zone in some ways you know and maybe it's sad because some people won't follow that but maybe if you do follow it it leads you to some place great and new I I don't does that buy with any at all yeah no and and uh again I won't repeat it to say that I feel like I'm crazy but that definitely is our our purpose uh I'm sure and subconsciously way my wife has changed some mind um just by showing our relationship Maybe by instead of responding to someone maybe not being accepted to our relationship she responds with love and it kind of makes him throw it down a little bit and breaks down that negative barrier because I'm not sure if somebody even when you're being mean or you're showing disrespect responds with elegance and love I'm not sure there's nothing you can do or or even if you even if you you can't respond with negativity if somebody's like that to you so you just have no response at all in a lot of cases I feel uh for example I think I was telling you we went to a play and again these guys and women are actors and they as much as I'm staring at them and admiring the art and what they were doing on stage they are staring at me and admiring the fact that I am sitting here at this all-polish World War II poem and show and so there's a mutual spit I can feel it I can feel a lot of times uh my wife will get Smiles or there'll be a surprise if I say hello in Polish or a lot of times I'm hungry or I need to know where the bathroom is again those are simple gestures but um I think Polish people feel like I would have never when they see me I think there's a assumption that I would have never taken the time to at least learn that basic well Todd as we you know we have a few minutes left here I wanted to kind of um ask you know talk about since you've you know written this book and you're you know it's out and you're doing you know you're kind of promoting it what what has the response been how has it um shaped your guys experience and your you know your life and everything uh so the the the this is the theme of this book uh obviously is love uh but in the book when the main character is falling following his love uh good things just keep happening and that has been true since this book has come out um like I was telling you my business is on the waiting list my son just had one of the best seasons of his life in football my daughter is doing very well in modeling getting traded at USC my wife's business is booming I mean we can't we went from like oh man I don't know about our future to feeling pretty good uh the response has been very good I think surprise I think on and overall if you look at me the Shale comes off as tough but I think a lot of people have been surprised the ones that have finished it and uh right now um as we speak it's being translated into polish and so for every book that I have sold there has been at least two post people asking when is it out in Polish and so I think that's going to be we talked about the platform here of this book and the platform that this gives me and my wife I know that this platform is going to be strong when this book comes out in Polish because uh here's a great example Daniel uh I haven't talked to you since then um your wife's birthday party right yeah yeah the lady that is uh translating my book in Polish we always have these awkward conversations because she said man there's just not a book like this in Polish there's not words I use the word black American a lot and she goes that's just not in our dictionary and so she has to change it around and so she comes she calls me one day and this is when I was like whoa this could have some impact she calls me and she goes hey um I don't know how to say this because I don't want to be disrespectful and I said look at this point I think we're past that sure so so she goes well there aren't any artists like you that are translating books in the Polish so it's hard for me to find reference and I say well what do you mean she goes well uh I looked up like top books that have been translated and there's only three black people who have done it and I was like okay well let's use that and she goes well uh it's Barack Obama uh uh Nelson Mandela and I believe the I forgot who the third one was I believe it was uh Tina Turner and so I I I she and I was like well I'm sure there's more and she goes no Todd that that's what I mean is those people's books were because Tina Turner was just happened to be popular in Polish and so when she wrote a book there was a need or a want um Obama just happened to be worldly so that that happened and Nelson Mandela just happened to be worldly but she goes what I'm trying to say is there's no basic basic guy he's no basic authors or no guys that aren't presidents ex-presidents or ex leaders or ex rock stars that are writing books like this and so looking at your actual pros and your actual writing going okay how do I do this right not only that technical problem well if she even had a she she had us yes there's some uh there's some words that I said you just have to put it even if it's uncomfortable because of the atmosphere that the Polish people are seeing they're like well you can't put this in the book and I'm like yes you can I wrote I wrote that in the American way but when you translate it it comes off differently right and so I feel like when this book comes out in Polish and I'm able to have the same love and respect and atmosphere that I'm giving I think it's our the platform's just going to get bigger uh especially when she puts it like that right like if you I just said did you know you just put me in the same sentence it says Nelson Mandela and Barack Obama I'm feeling pretty big right now I don't know about you but even Tina Turner is pretty great man I'll take it off um but I uh as far as how the book's being received um surprise in a good way I'm a lot of love and I feel like the translation in the Polish is just going to take it to the next level it's a good movie premise really yeah I the end game man see we we think like that spiritually Daniel the end game is when it comes out in the Polish uh uh I am going to do the same way I got to publish this I'm going to send it to every polish director that I can get the hands into and uh we're going to Poland in spring to do a book signing uh so my goal is or my hope is the platform when we go to Poland uh it just spreads and I can get in contact and use that um as a leverage to like yo not only is this a once in a lifetime cultural book in their world because they just don't see it but it could be a show too because it comes off stronger uh like for example I'm supposed to go on the Polish radio and the guy was like uh man we got to make sure our cameras are working because I don't think people would understand unless they see you so I think that impact will make a big difference it's kind of like uh I mean imagine when you're doing zooms uh uh to Poland or something like that and people are going to hear you talking polish it's just going to be a trip for them to compete this guy oh yeah well think about think about that's in Poland over here they over here they do that they even the Polish people that are here I'm like man you know you guys are in Chicago right um they react like that but the ones in Poland it's like we get the same reaction every time yeah yeah talking about your book there tell them this story yeah not to be too calculating but like the back story your backstory of the book is pretty fascinating so you know it's another reason for someone to make a movie out of it yeah right combination combination trust right easy easy sale yeah as they say from your mouth to God's ears yeah oh man please please make it they can do a Netflix series you know I'm all about six episodes on it I was like I'll take I'll take a Hallmark film man I'll take all everything you just said yes yeah okay Well story deserves to be told it should be told well I'm right I'm learning I'm the the closer it gets to those moments I'm trying to be prepared and the more polish I know the better they Point Todd but just throw it out I have you thought about doing it as an audiobook in English too yeah yes the so I have to take the time out to do the audiobook because they gave me a sample of what it would sound like and I feel like I would be able to represent what I want the tone uh what I want the voices just small fine new points on the audio is a little harder but I am planning on doing that I gotta block off like a whole week and just sit down and um and also to it's actually a really funny experience because I don't take myself too seriously and when you're reading a book out loud and just something comes across your head it's it's it's a pretty funny experience so I think the Publishing Company if if I get to the point where it's like hey you need an audio and you need to do it I will just have them put in their template system to do it uh but yeah that is in the process awesome well I hope that happens for you man I'm you know listen I you know I've known Todd how long have I known you for 10 years at least for sure and long yeah 2012. as well man that's a long time but I I could say you know Todd since I've known him has been learning polish um the entire time not just not just speaking but writing and reading as well uh Todd always always walks around with a notebook uh Todd's always writing he's always in his craft he's you know he's he's in it and he doesn't you know he writes journals and everything so like this this man he lives this this is a thorough this is his thing this is who he is you know and I and you know I'm glad to I'm glad to have you on um because it's uh you know I like I like showing you to people that there's there's people like this who do this you know what I'm saying Yeah in our real are real people yeah we try to be inspiring right to say hey look here's somebody doing this thing yeah you know maybe it dings some bells in other people's heads to go hey I could maybe take some part of my story that's unique or something maybe I can share parts of myself too all right already a lot of people and in one way or the other a lot of people over the last few weeks since it came out have been like you know what I've always wanted to write a book and I'm just do it if I can do it you can do it um at the same time I'm like inspired because I'm halfway through my own book about love I got one too and America so I'm in it and I was just sharing it with some people recently and like getting some decent feedback on it and I was like then I you know Daniel told me we're gonna do this interview and I was like okay I feel inspired by what this guy is doing no such thing as coincidences yes that's right no such thing I should hear that book I should I should read that book when you're done with it I want to read it and we'll come back in Full Circle and talk about your book we'll swap it right there it is you can get translated into polish that's gonna be my new business getting Bush translated into polish hey low-key you might might be all right man you know I you know you started it first you had the idea here first uh well before we wrap it up um I'm gonna give it to you first Todd is there anything else you know that you would like to to share that we didn't get a chance to get to you know people who haven't heard it before or whatever you know whatever the floor the floor is yours um oh man I appreciate you I'm All About Love that's what you're gonna get when uh you read this book I hope you can uh while it's fiction there's a lot of true stories and experiences from my wife and I and uh if we can motivate one person like you said to write a book or to love or to hey if I can motivate one person to pick up a Polish book and learn polish I'm all about that I'm hoping um this book gives us the platform to do even more I feel like me and my wife are bound for a lot more and uh if you want to see the book conscious love purpose amazon.com eloquent books New York is my Publishing Company I'm on Facebook I do a lot of Todd love ball Jr on Facebook I'll leave I'll leave some links in the description yes sir there you go yeah for sure yeah I'll ask you about that all that but okay all right so well you know it's always we're always happy to have you on you know that's you know anytime man you're always welcome thank you thank you it's a pleasure yeah Eric I just uh you know thanks for doing something inspiring for people and uh and I think the point you're making is sometimes something we bring up too uh there's a Joseph Campbell Daniel Knight Daniel Knight Daniel and I like to reference him occasionally who has this thing follow your bliss and like you're kind of like I'm saying if you follow your love who knows where that might go right that's part of the message of the book you know so thank you absolutely passion inspired thing and uh for sharing it with us thanks so much for coming on top thank you appreciate you guys yeah of course and and I think the other part for me is that like you know even though we're we're focusing on on your book the experience of you know you and your wife and love in general creativity we've talked about so much in like cross-cultural experiences interracial Intercultural kind of you know love but then another part that we probably talked about specifically but I think I want to just take one more moment and highlight it is this idea of identity you know that like what we believe to be parts of ourselves where we believe to be those those parts to be at it and what we put our energy into you know that's who we identify as and I know you know culturally we don't really dive into this too much because we like to you know I don't want to be on either side of the battle but like you know if somebody feels something in their heart and they're they're in love with that thing then that that's who they are you know regardless of how it looks on the outside whether it's accepted or not accepted or you know whatever the case is if someone does something with love and with an open heart then who is anybody to say anything you know against it so long as they're not like harming right obviously you know you can't like right I want to kill every bird I see that's you know all right then they put you in the crazy house that's not that's not a great love yeah yeah that's not a great love but that's just making a Miss on that one yeah but you know like but like really and truly you know we do live in this culture where like openness is the whole right Freedom right everybody loves Freedom we love being free whatever that means you know but like for me in a practical sense the freedom to choose the ability to do whatever you want become whoever you want literally even if it's cross-culture cross-gender cross whatever you know then you do you you do your thing and if that's who you are and and like like you Todd and your wife like if your life is an expression of love then who is anybody to say anything other than damn that's good you know absolutely really nothing wrong with being obsessed with your wife no no or your husband or boyfriend or girlfriend right you know you know just make sure they get obsessed with the love of your life yeah that's to be your dogs right or your cats or your birds or your fish whatever all day you know or spirituality right yes or God right because like we talked we didn't get into this this time but maybe you know when you come on again Todd you know we were just talking about you know connection like love connection as a as a means to connect with divine yes and uh you know we didn't get it there's no time to do do justice to us so we'll leave it for now but maybe maybe next time come on yes I gotta come back now oh yeah no for sure I and I I you know didn't do it on purpose but kind of yeah like that you know really really because because I know how committed you guys are you know just to like being in love actually not just like loving but being in love right that like that's a difference go ahead you know you're right it's a difference the way you said it the strengthen it is the difference yeah and I would love somebody I say it all the time I don't just love you I'm in love with you so yeah yeah yeah and I know I'm sure you know we're gonna start doing more uh episodes on relationships and stuff like that so I'd love to talk to somebody who doesn't necessarily have like a a a spiritual practice in a sense like it's not like you have a certain thing that you do but that like your love is your spiritual practice you know and I and I would and I would you know using love I would I would love to be able to kind of to talk to you about that because to me it's like a very tangible way that people don't have to sit down and they're you're not like I mean you're doing some meditation in your own life but you don't have you know you don't have like an altar and prayer beads you're not burning incense you're not praying to whomever you know what I mean like right you know what I'm saying like this is you're living it you're allowing the love that you have for you and your wife to kind of just blossom and grow and you're investing in that as like your own spiritual practice so you know when you come on again I would love to be able to kind of go into this and um I don't want to put words in Eric's mouth but you know oh yeah for sure that's fine um yes I'll come with all my stories as an ordained minister all the weddings I've done that see that's a whole episode right there that's a whole check sure yeah no but like it's it's kind of like that thing like there's multiple I mean and this has grown over the course of our doing this podcast too there's like uh multiple ways to find your way to your own spirit and to find a way to the source of everything or to find your way to Divine there's all kinds of ways to do this right yeah yeah all right family well until until next time so until next time Todd thank you for joining us today um Eric as always thanks for being here audience thank you for listening or watching or however you catch us if you're on YouTube like comment subscribe um love always wins yes it does uh if you're listening to us um we can have about half our listeners on Apple podcast so if you listen to us on Apple go ahead and and uh leave us a review it definitely helps out the show if you enjoyed our content today please feel free and obliged if you will even obligated to uh to share you know with uh friends family and otherwise I will leave links to Todd's contact info in the link in the description uh or the podcast depending on you know how you're consuming it uh yeah I just thank everybody for listening whether you're in the in the US or worldwide we do have a bit of our audience overseas and so we're expecting a very larger audience in Poland that's right yeah we want to grow that polish audience it's coming it's coming good I will thank everybody for being here here today and we'll catch you on the next one all right fam peace