[Music] Thanks for tuning in to Jennra Spirituality with a twist. We have uh our good friend Fedra with us today. We'll be talking about all of the things uh kink and fetish and uh some terms and definitions and and fun ideas that um are alive in that kind of community today. So, if uh that's what you're into, then you are in the right place. If you stumbled across us somehow randomly, I could say you're probably still in the right place. Um, but if this is not for you, then uh please uh turn it off and as I like to say, turn on some cat videos. That'll always uh get your goat. Uh so we're going to we're going to dive in and then uh let Fedra Fedra take us away with some uh discussion on consent as that's usually where these conversations begin uh with with the with the in lifestyle and and just in in these kind of play spaces in general. So Fedra, please. Yeah. Thank you, Daniel. Um, thank you for letting me dress for the occasion. Thank you. Yes. Yeah. For our our nonvideo folks, uh, Fedra is dressed in a, uh, black latex with, uh, some, uh, rings and chains and spikes around the neck. Just in case she thought she was going to escape, the answer is no. No. No. Absolutely not. Uh, okay. So first and foremost we start with the basic right which is informed consent. Anytime like in this in a king fetish like well of anything I don't care if you're not in king and fetish everything should have informed consent right. Yeah. So um this is the meaning of what in uh informed consent is is giving consent under full knowledge. Um what this means too where there's these lines is like and we've heard them in the news, we've heard them in with our friends is like when drugs and alcohol are involved, right? Because you don't remember like all these things. So those those can blur the lines of informed consent. So especially in these areas that we're going to talk about today, um they can get it can get pretty heavy and get pretty emotional um and and dangerous in some sense. And so, um, yeah, so we want to make sure with all these things and we're gonna when we're giving the definitions, there's always going to be consent is going to be part of this. So, you're going to hear that repeated all today. Um, but yeah, so in current form consent, giving consent under full knowledge and that's like not under the influence of drugs and alcohol. Yeah. So, this is this is the beginning this is the beginning this is the beginning point. This is where things start. Where things start. Yes. Absolutely. Um, so Daniel, like let's even say, you know, we we hear these terms kink and fetish. And they're not exactly the same thing. Correct. Um, yeah. So, a kink is a non-conventional or non-traditional sex practice, sexual practice. They are, you know, um, when we say somebody's kinky, like they're like, "Oh, they like some some weird things." Like, that's cool. Um and then with fetishes, it is a subset of kink uh where um an object or an objectified body part uh that's not usually, you know, considered for sex is required to experience arousal or orgasm. Yeah. So those are the difference between fetishes and kinks. So maybe we give some maybe we'll give some examples, right? So yeah, I think you know a common one people know about probably in you know for normal normal sex folks uh a fetish would be like a foot fetish foot. So you so the feet do it for you. It's you know it's a kind of a kink I guess you could say. Um but it's not but it's you know they enjoy that but it's it's it's different than than a than a kink in a sense right? So, it's just like the look of the feet, the smell of the feet, the taste of the feet. I mean, people make a lot of money on foot videos. They do. Only fans. So much money. Just with their cute little toes and and not even cute. Some some of the feet aren't, but they're they're killing it out there. Good for them. Yeah. I mean, there there's people who make money uh blowing blowing bubbles on bubble with bubble gum. Blowing bubbles. Yes. Oh, that's cute. Yes. I like that. Yeah, I know somebody who does that. really. Well, I mean, you think about it, like the chewing and the tongue, like there's a lot of like sexual kind of stuff that that Okay, I can see that. Yeah, it's kind of like a ASMR. It's kind of like ASMR, but then they also will just, you know, chew it and blow it and, you know, cool. Yeah. Oh, I like it. the more pieces of gum they use. Is it like I haven't got into the details of her um of of the of this particular thing, but I will uh I will be sure to uh I'll be sure to ask more questions. There's a lot there. You can take a lot. Um another one would be like a food fetish, right? Where people use food eating food, wearing food, having food eaten off of the other person, just watching that or doing it. um very messy, but you know um I've seen stuff I went to a show once where they were using hot dogs and um it was kind of interesting. They weren't cooked, they were raw, but they were like doing hot dogs and like ketchup and mustard. Um and people were really excited by it. Uh yeah. So, were they kosher? But I'm sure I'm sure that could be, you know, that could be done depending on your audience. You know, all all these foods are safely prepared. Yes. And consent was and consent was given for sure. Consent is given. And what would you what would you what would you give in terms of like a a kink like what would you an example of a kink? So, okay. So we can get right into it. So kink would be um like BDSM. A lot of people hear BDSM and they think all of a sudden it's like oh BDSM like when you know someone's dressed like mwah and you get whips and change in the ball game and like that I think is the overview from vanilla people as to what BDSM is which um we'll get into. And it's actually it's a type of kink that involves playing with power. And it's an acronym for bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadism and machism. Masoism. So I was like, wait, I'm not saying straight. Masochism. Yeah. Um there's a lot. That's a lot there, but three little letters. Mhm. Um so yeah, so bondage where we can start um is um like being tied up um restrained, right? So you've got like ropes um you've got chains, handcuffs, um spreader bars, um suspension. Um, so those things and I mean it can be as simple as just wearing handcuffs, right? That's like that's a start and that's where I think a lot of people start is like, oh, let's get the handcuffs out, the furry ones, you know, they're really cute that you get the little kicks from, you know, Lover's Lane. Lovers Lane. There you go. Yeah. Yeah. Then you can break out of really easily. Yeah. Um, but you know, it's a good start and it's fun and it's playful and it can add a little spice that can go all the way up to like where you use handcuffs. In some scenarios, you can use handcuffs and they're like leaving marks because they're really tight or how they're placed around the body. There causes pain, which is consent, consensual, it causes pain. Um or you know, which is what it arouses. Um what can arouse or just the act of doing that can arouse the other person. Mhm. Um so bondage um discipline. So with that like the bondage and the discipline. So that's another thing too when you're restraints there may be some acts of you know like discipline and that doesn't mean necessarily spanking or um hitting like impacting which we can talk about impact in a second but it doesn't mean that. It could be just like no, you have to sit there and just look at me and you, you know, just restricting saying no and disciplining the person in a way that, you know, they really want something and the other person's like, well, you can't have it. Um, so anything to add to that? No. Yeah, I mean there's that there there's also uh there's ver it's verbal, right? So it it can be it's physical, but then it's but it can be verbal. You know, some people like, you know, um some amounts of like degradation. Yes. Um which which I find degradation. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Which which I find to be an interesting kind of a thing. I think maybe on some there there's you know I don't know where you fall on this, but some some of it is playful, you know. Uh I talked to one of my friends. He's like he's like, "Oh, you're just calling." He's like, "You're like a a baseball announcer and you're just baseball. You're just saying what's going on. You're just oh, I'm doing this. Oh, I'm doing that. Oh, look at you. You're doing that. Right. Like you do that, but then on the but then but then that that quickly kind of goes to like maybe some like I don't want to call it name calling, but you know it's name calling. Mhm. I do. Um it gets really it can get really intense, you know, where um like to the point like degradation can be where it starts easy like calling someone a [...] like, oh, you're and it's kind of playful, but it's like that's a start. But then you're getting into like real areas where it's if if someone else was watching and heard this and not like understanding this life, they'd be like, "Wow, how would you put up like he or she completely, you know, like that's so disrespectful and it's hurtful." Um, and it can get that bad degrading like spinning at someone's face or like like there's all kinds of like all that stuff of degrading someone just making them feel less than, right? Making them feel like they're worth nothing. They're an object. Mhm. Um, and it can be really hot for some people and there's many reasons why, you know, and psychologists and therapists will they can get into it, but as long as it's consensual and it's a thing and everyone's liking it, you know, it's okay. And like and even degradation with like um like there's that power play of uh you know like money like men or women who are high up like CEOs and you're just talking about how shitty of a person you are like you can't control this and I mean it can get it gets so psychological. Oh yeah for sure. Like so it doesn't even have to be like about sexual stuff. It can totally be about life like Yeah. And people get like every day you're you're killing it at work and you're just like this highpowered CEO, lawyer, whatever, and all of a sudden you have your your dom basically telling you you're a piece of [...] You're not worth anything. Yeah. You can't do this. And then they're like, "Give me more." Yes. And there's a whole psychological component. Um Yeah. But maybe we can have someone on someday and talk about all the psychology of this stuff. There's a lot. There's Yeah. So there there's there's that and then there's humiliation. Oh, the humiliation. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Humiliation is that's interesting that I mean that's such a I don't want to say weird because I don't want to yuck anybody's yum. You know what I'm saying? But humiliation we all are weird in this community. Yeah, for sure. Weird. But like humiliation is literally other person is is insulting you. You know, seems so bad. Yeah. You know, and and and it's not always limited. I mean, often it's limited to the bedroom, but I I'm not I don't do that. So, like I don't know. I just I know about it. I know people who are they're kind of into it, you know? Um, and it is, but it's insult. I mean, you're being insulted like for sure. There's no doubt about it, you know. And look, if people like that, that's fine. I think psychologically some aspects of this are to kind of counteract the constraints that these people feel in society like you were talking about like CEOs wanting to be men or women wanting to be dominated. Yes. you know, um wanting to be like put in their place and and they like that. Especially I mean I I don't stereotypically men, you know, powerful men like a super strong woman dressed like how you are dressed right now to be like shut the [...] up, you know, stomping on their balls with their heels. Yeah, exactly. And then be like, you're, you know, how did you grow such a tiny penis? That thing is inimal. You have a baby. That's a you grow, you know. And talking about penis size is definitely one of the big Oh yeah, like Yeah, that's huge. But it's not huge. That's right. Yeah, for sure. So uh yeah, but it's psychologically it's an interesting thing and I think for me as you know like I've learned more about this and and whatever I am cautious of myself to engage in some of these things because I don't want to like perpetuate someone's wounds and I feel like even though sexuality and pleasure is a very healing space can be very healing you know orgas like orgasms are great and can be healing can be they're not always but they can be yes they can be But then simultaneously as as a as a healer person and as a an aware person, not saying others are not aware, I'm just saying myself, I don't want to like if somebody was has some trauma, I don't want to feel like I'm adding to that trauma in this arena. Does that make sense? Like I it's just a fine line. Yeah, that's a fair statement. And I think one of the most beautiful things I found is that the unbelievable emotional conversation that's had before and after these things occur. Um I can't speak for everyone. I don't know if everyone has the type of conversations that arise after, you know, this stuff, but this is why after a lot of these things there's like afterare, right? Because you're coming down from this immense high, right? Um, and that's I think the most beautiful thing uh in my experience is like we talk about it. It's like well why did you like that? You know what what did you know? It's like that was different um and not something to your to what you said is like I don't think I want to and get involved because I don't want to um add to someone's trauma, right? Um, and there's a big part of it that's helping like work through, well, let's see this. I we did this. That was really cool. Where is this coming from? And why did I like that so much because I've never really thought I liked it. So, that wasn't um you know, that's not like a norm I want to say normal cuz I hate that word, but that's not a usual thing that I would practice. And all of a sudden, like that's making me like really hot and bothered. So, where is that coming from? M um I'm fortunate to be able to have, you know, the right outlet for that. Um but I don't know, I can't speak for everyone, but I would suggest if anyone's kind of like curious, make sure you talk it out. This isn't stuff that you just do and you're like, "Oh, yeah, that was fun." Because if something's like triggering that immense pleasure, especially in a sexual sense, and you're like, "Yeah, that's weird." Like, "Why do I like that so much?" It's probably because it's coming from somewhere like really deep and talk about it. You know, I think it's important. Yeah. All this stuff is a way like you were saying, it is therapy in a way um in a a completely different way, but Yeah. But being able to reach Yeah. And that's but it's coming like you were saying being self-aware and all those things. Some people may not be and they're just like some freaking do it. Like I know individuals that do it and they're like I don't know why. I'm like, "Do you want me to tell you?" Cuz I can tell you exactly why you're into, you know, like all the things you're into, which we won't get into, but like it's a very to me it's easy. And if he doesn't want to hear it, that's okay. But, you know, and some people are like that. They're like, I don't care about my trauma and my wounds. That's very interesting from you to hear. And as a healer, yeah, it um I can see I can see the the um the desire to kind of hold back from that. But maybe it's a discussion you and your partner have. Well, the thought that comes to mind is like you would take a source of pain and sort of alchemize it into a source of pleasure. Pleasure. Yeah. So, you're kind of like reclaiming some of those aspects uh of yourself that were maybe taken away from you, you know, if you're thinking about like sexual trauma or even emotional trauma too. You know, you heard that some, you know, you're somebody called you a dummy or what, you know, whatever. I mean, this is these are this is like infantile insults. the the [...] that people play in this space is like, you know, it goes on. Yeah. I mean, we talk about that like the adult, you know, the the age play, right, where you got like mother, daughter, mother, son, father, daughter, father, son, like these these aspects of, you know, you're going back to this little child. And once again, with age play, make sure it's legal. the person's over 18 or some whatever the things you know it's got to be legal and consensual like we don't do age play with little children that's something completely different um but when two consenting adults are playing completely different ages you know um and that I think can be a very healing thing too but also this is why people hire professionals like there's professional doms and damies domies and there's professional people that actually study this and I And it's educational. It's like saying that you just want to be a dom and a thing like that's fine. That' be cool. This is like how you recognize yourself, but there's actually like classes and things you can take so that you as like in a a healing space could be someone's person to do this and let this stuff come out. And it's really psychological and it's beautiful and um I think you know I mean in a different sense this is what people will go to instead of going to their psychologist. Yeah, for sure. No, it's it's a therapy. It is, you know, it's it's it's sensual therapy in a sense, you know, and because it's not even always sexual. It's not even always penetrative. It's not Nope. Not penetrative at all. Oh, no. There's some We'll get into We'll get into that, too. Um but I wanted um Now, there's something that you said earlier and I I'll have to get back to it because I don't remember, but um Okay. Yeah. So, we're talking about the DOM and the sub. So, yeah, in those two um um well, back to what we were saying with the with the the bond and stuff. So, part of the BDSM is the dominant submission, the sadism and masochism, which is basically the sadist who likes to like hurt the person or Yeah. like be the the person that's doing that and then the masochist who is like enjoying like the pleas the pain is the pleasure like you said alchemizing that pain into pleasure. Yeah. So that's where the sadism and masochism come in. Um the dominance of submission you've got your dom person is submit. Now sometimes there's switches. So here I'm dressed like in this latex you know whatever and I could have a crop and be ready but I can switch and have someone put a leash on me with one of these rings right and now I'm the submissive. Some people are a switchleaning dom. Some people are switches leaning submissive. It's just like a different role that they can play. They play both, but they prefer one or the other in specific like situation. Um so that's what the submissive is is like they're taking they're taking it from the person that's giving it um and submitting. Um but you like this one brat. Can you explain what a brat is? Oh man, it's Bratz. I don't know any brats. You don't know any brats? Sure you do. Oh, I don't know any. Oh, well, we know some similar people. And I'll tell you what, they're [...] brats for sure. Yeah. Yeah. Um, and if you and if you know us and you're listening to that and you think that might be you, it probably is. It probably is. So, just accept it. Yeah. Yeah. So, Brat Brat's Brat's an interesting one. Like so on on the because everything has a spectrum, right? And there's everything is a spectrum. Nothing is just either or. Even like you saying like between a a dominant and a submissive, there's switch and then there's switches who have a spectrum of being more dominant, more submissive or right in the middle or whatever. Okay, fine. I think for me the the kind of the the spectrum to dominant and sub is like a brat and a daddy. Yeah. It's on the same It's on the same thing. So, you know, brat and daddy like what is this one is a person uh and typically this is female and male or or I guess it could be male and male or maybe female. I guess it doesn't really matter. I don't really know. I just it's you I guess it's used maybe in the porative with the female male because it's referred to as a daddy. Like I don't know if you have I mean I'm not in the lesbian community so I don't know if they have a brat and a mommy. I'm not sure. I'm not like I want to I want to say that. Yeah, there is the mommy role for sure. I'm gonna assume that there would be a I would assume I would assume it it transcends sexual sexual preference, but it totally does. But we'll just call I feel like there could be male bratz. I feel like Yeah. So I'm Yeah. I don't even want to go too much far down that, you know. Um but we'll just talk about it from a a female to male dynamic and then you could extrapolate from there on. We're not It's not exclusive. Yeah. And the daddy can also be like a like instead of the daddy can also use the term brat tamer. I mean, daddy brat tamer. Brat tamer as well, but daddy sounds way more fun than brat tamer. Daddy sounds fun. Yeah. Yeah, the brat tame. Yeah. Um, but yeah. So, the brat and the brat tamer, you know what I mean? Excuse me. Uh, you bless you. And so, yeah. So, the brat is somebody who, at least from from, you know, my understanding, my experience is is somebody who is a little bit like feisty and likes to say no, likes to be playful, but but still in a in a consensual way. And uh and like with what and I think maybe with more in in we're brat but also in the submissives and doms that the play extends outside of the bedroom as well as inside of the bedroom. And oh that's what I was going to talk to you about. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. And so like brats are bratty meaning like a like a like a young kid would be like I want to do that you know like they have a little bit of like a childish nature to them that that is obstinate. They're not like yay let's go have a good time. It's more like, "No, don't tell me what to do." But really, they totally want you to tell them what to do. Like, specifically, they like that. That's exactly what they want. They're resisting to be disobedient and to be like, "Yes, they want Yes. They want to be they want to be punished, but they want to earn that punishment. They don't want you to just punish them for no reason. They want to, you know, be like, I don't want to. Is that tell me no." You know what I mean? Like, yes. 100%. And and but then but then and so then like the the brattiness and the the brat and the brat tamer and the dom and the sub, but then this all in the bedroom is one thing, but then it can extend into into real into like regular life as well. And this is a much different dynamic because now you're you're kind of playing these roles. You're living these roles now all the time. And so a bratty personality versus brat tendencies sexually or like in in that sense they you know I I feel like forget from my understanding other people will probably have far more experience than I do in this for sure but they're always kind of resisting. It's a steady state of resistance and and whatever. And then in a dom sub relationship, the the dominant person will tell the sub exactly what they're going to be doing all the time for the length or or maybe for the length of an evening. That might be part of the play is like you're going to wear this uh you're going to do this. You can only get up when I tell you. You can you can speak when I allow you. You know what I'm saying? They have like there the rules move beyond the bedroom play. But of course, this is all done consensually. It's, you know, Oh, I mean, it should be done consensually. If it's not, then this is kind of like sex trafficking. It's it's controlling. It's abusive. Yeah. It's abuse. Yeah. Yeah. Um and and in in addition to that too, um when you talk about so the dom, you know, but you're also talking about daddy. So, like in the daddy role, um it usually is an older man or woman if it's mommy or whatever. And this is like not just about like you were saying sexual stuff. This is also like he's actually cares about like showing care and safety. So there's an emotional component of safety. So this person so there's like trust and safety usually like you know um he's got his [...] together and there's communication. So even though there's usual there's like there's that like there's life experience. So it's it's it's trust and life experience. So even if a um and this doesn't mean added to this like not all people with daddy or mommy fetishes have like daddy mommy issues correct you know I mean it could be and it's probable but um there's this um in the sexual experience like the sexual way of this there's you know just this feeling of being able to completely like trust and and let someone just do all the things and then in life you know, taking you out. Like people see like, "Oh, that's my sugar daddy." Same thing, like taking care of you. And so it can extend outside the bedroom or it doesn't even have to make like get into a sexual thing. Like you just have a relationship with a person that's completely um like transactional, but each person they're getting something out of it, you know? So yes, he's buying her or she's buying him or he's whatever. They're buying each other. They're buying each other like no one's buying another person like all these beautiful things, whatever, taking care of them, while the other person is like, you know, maybe just having nice dinners and talking and like showing this other person love and affection in that way, but there's no sexual component to it. Yeah. What do they call those? Uh, fin. Financial doms. I think that's what they Oh, yeah. Yeah. Financial doms. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. So, yeah. So, that just is like an interesting um I think that's an interesting way of of going about that, too. Um I've known a woman who had the quote unquote like sugar daddy and it was very much she's like, "Yeah, we've never had sex. It's just it's it's and it's transactional in the sense like that there's, you know, things being bought or money putting being put in the accounts." Yeah. But the her the man was getting something out of it for sure. whether it was long conversations, just attention. So, um he was feeling loved and heard. Yeah. Which is huge, which is sometimes bigger and better than being able to have sex because that's easy. Yeah. Yeah. For some. For some. For some. Yes. For some. Absolutely. If you're an incel, this conversation might be a little bit difficult. So, you know, Yeah. Please leave your comments in the below. No, I'm just kidding. Leave them. Um, okay. So, oh, this is a fun one. Okay, so praise kink. What's that all about? Yeah. So, go ahead. Yeah, praise king. So, exaggerated compliments and approval. That's a good one. Yeah, this is kind of the opposite of degradation. Oh, complete opposite. Yes. Yes. Absolutely. this is all about, you know, which can be just as uncomfortable or more uncomfortable than being degraded because you have someone sitting there telling you that like, you know, as a woman, you know, like everything that's great about you. You're perfect. You're beautiful. God, look at your body. Oh, your breasts are beautiful. Oh, I love your mind. Oh my gosh, you're, you know, like you're so smart. like just going on and on about the body, the like anything that's praiseful and it can be really uncomfortable. Like you're just sitting there like, "Oh, wow. She's really paying attention and he's saying these things and it can get really uncomfortable." Um, but then there's some women or men or, you know, that really are like that's just like, "Yes, bring it on." And it's also really nice for the person that's saying it, too. I think that's a kink for them, too. So, we say it's a like the praise kinks for the person that's receiving it, but I think it's also kind of a kink for the person that's saying it, too. Yeah, definitely. Um, yes, definitely different than degrading. Yeah. Well, both I mean, listen, anytime you have one person who wants one thing, whether it be whatever, the other person who is doing it is is engaging in that thing as well. And they might be engaging in it because they like it, but they also might be engaging in it because the other person likes it and they will do it for that person and thereby they get they get not they get off but they have some pleasure in pleasing their their other person. You know, assuming they can do it with pleasure, right? Not that it's like if somebody wants to be degraded and you don't want to degrade them, I think it's gonna be very hard for you to find it in you to do it and not like insult them. That's why, you know, when um you know, I guess I don't even want to say it. It's fine. Are you sure? Yeah. Well, I'm just saying be careful who you who you ask to be degraded by because they might put a accidentally put a curse on your family. You know what I mean? Like that's like real dec. Yeah. [...] you and your whole family. You ain't [...] You're like, "Whoa, whoa, wait a minute. I just, you know, I just You're talking about me. Just tell me. Tell me that my penis isn't great." Yeah. Just tell me I'm a little pale, man. just like take it easy, guy. Geez. Yeah. No, that's true though. That can get a little crazy. Um Yeah. And that's another thing, too. This is why when we talk about consent, it's not just consent that you're doing it to someone. It's like, hey, are you comfortable? Yeah. Doing it. You know, choking me and pulling my hair and like hitting me, slapping me in the face. Like, are you comfortable with all this? Cuz I am. But if the other person's not, it's not going to be fun. A cuz they're not going to do it right. And they will probably end up hurting you. Yeah. And that's no fun. Like not in a good way, but you know, in a terribly painful way. Yeah. Um and so yeah, and that's why another thing like consensus and just like, "Yeah, let's do it. Yeah, let's do it." Like have a conversation about it and like where you want it to go, which is also we talk about this is always like a big joke like safe words. That's a really [...] thing because a safe word because a lot of times in these kinks like yet saying no, that's part of the kink which um Oh, we'll get down to that one. saying no and like continuously saying no, that's part of the kink and that's what people want to hear and that's like getting as things get like deeper and deeper and the more you say no. So if you're just like arugula then you know that like it's time to stop right and some and a lot of times it's like red, green, yellow. I think those three words are used a lot in different situations, but um yeah, and they have their meaning, but um yeah, just making it a word that hey, if you scream it out, it has nothing to do with sex or anything like that. It's like um yeah, so that there there's that. Um uh because like in so in the situation of like CNC which is consensual non-con consent, right? And um yeah, this is fun. Yeah, this one. So a lot of people and I don't I don't want to say a lot of people, but there's there's an idea that this just means like rape, right? Like the idea of consensual raping somebody. And um and there's a role play um which it is. It can be. Yeah. It's like roleplaying that fantasy of like saying no and like setting up a scene. You know, you come home and somebody walks in behind you and then you go through all the things. Um but it's that but it also can be kidnapping. Yeah. Everything has a it gets everything has a rabbit hole. This is we're we're at the we're at we're just we're talking about is at the tip of the rabbit hole. The rabbit hole goes way down, way deep, way deep. So like kidnapping, like even like interrogation. So it's like having someone tied and just like, you know, bound up and then Yeah, I've never seen that one. That'd be interesting. Um force orgasm. So like, yeah, that could be done many different ways. Um yeah, if somebody like doesn't want to but like they've consented to not to non-conent, right? Um so yeah, so those are just a few and like you said there's a whole rabbit hole of those that we don't need to. I mean these are the ones that like if you want to start Soviet. Um yeah. All right. You want to take the next one? Um, no. Audience, you'll see why. Take You don't want to take Chuck Goldie? No, I'm good. You don't want to take that one? Okay, I'll take it. Okay. So, as we usually hear about this one, it the the man the partner, the male partner watching his partner having sex with another person. Um, so we usually see this in porn, right? It's like the poor man sitting in the corner watching his wife get railed. Um, beautiful scene. Love it. Great. It's It's like total Emmy worthy stuff. But this also is this is used in, you know, across. This is not like withholding um whether it's a man, a woman, you know, whatever gender you are. Um, this is kind of goes around. It's it's someone watching their partner getting, you know, having sex or going through sexual actions with another person that's consensual. It's not just like you can act. You can do the CNC where it's like a cheating scene, right? Um which I've heard a lot of people do and it sounds like really fun. Um and then they call like the the female a cuckoldress. So, you know, and it can be so you can just go, but it's it's basically that scene that scene or that thought that, you know, the partner's cheating on the person. That's that's what it kind of started off as. Now, it's just it's gone into something better. And and the person that's watching, the the husband or wife that's watching is, you know, enjoying it. They like they like that pleasure. So, there's the compion aspect there, which we talked about before. Um, but there's also the jealousy aspect because that really entices jealousy and jealousy in people can like create a different dynamic in relationships too. So there's from the person watching, you know, you got like I'm I'm really like kind of jealous that I'm watching this person do this to my my partner right now. And so that's another like we talk about therapy and getting things out and alchemizing feelings. M um there's a whole thing there. I think that and I I think we can take this out of the situation and say, okay, when we're jealous about something, sometimes you get jealous and that's going to make I've seen this in couples where it's like this person's jealous, so I'm going to try harder and do more and like be a better partner, right? Because of my own insecurities, right? So, this is one of those scenes where if you talk, you know, with things that I've read, it's like that can turn into that, you know, in some cases. in some cases definitely not but um there's that aspect of it. Here's a question, Fedra, and I don't I don't know that you I mean, there is no definitive answers, but Okay. Do do you you know, based on your experience and you know, from your own or from friends in the community, do you find I mean, of course, kings kinks evolve and change over time, but like we're talking about alchemization of I mean, and that's the premise of the question. So, yeah, talking about alchemization of trauma or discomfort into pleasure. Yeah. I would imagine and then just me being me as somebody evolves in their life or they mature whatever maybe evolve is better than mature that their relationship to the things that brought them pain that have over time via these kinks have been turned into pleasure would lose a little bit of the the kind of grip that they had on somebody in the initial stages. And so therefore their kinks, their, you know, kind of experiences would have to evolve with them. And I'm just wondering, would would that render some of these initial experiences in that world when it when the stuff had a lot of power? Would that render it not as powerful as time goes on? Which I think probably. But then the question is like I I don't know like where where would that go? Like how does that evolve or is that person my person? I know what what have you what have you seen if if anything like this? Yeah. So, what I'm I'm hearing is that you're saying as someone evolves and their their their initial trauma or pain which when when they're seeking this uh they're seeking it to turn into pleasure. So they start small or let's say you know in one of these these kinks or fetish situations and then but as they're learning and they're growing and they're evolving and learning more about them then it's not going to be such an impact anymore like it may not be as pleasurable because now they're dealing with their traumas and their stuff and so that may not be as pleasurable anymore. This is why then we start like you said we start going down rabbit holes of more and more okay so maybe like that impact like if you just spanking me so now we're going to take it a step further. So that's why when you start reading up on these kinks and stuff like that it can get pretty um I mean it can it can it it can get pretty intense like very intense. Um, and so that I would assume then they probably would try, okay, well that's not really that's not getting hitting me anymore. So they try something different or maybe it's just like maybe I'm just going to try somebody being nice to me. Mhm. And maybe that's going to become my new kink is like maybe I just try vanilla stuff for a little bit and see if it works. But that was a great question. Like that was I don't think I've ever thought about that. But I think that's why new kinks and people normalize it now because this is dealing with you know a lot of different things or yeah so I would say yeah they'd evolve into new and different things or just say hey I don't think this is for me anymore and your body will tell you I think one's body is like yeah we're done like I'm yeah but that was that was good and I I would I would assume so but I'm not sure I don't I've heard Yeah. Yeah, I mean I know people that really go in and out of things and it's just like with anything in life, like even just lifestyle, you know, like your thoughts and needs and wants change or you start learning things about anything we've talked about in the last, you know, a few months um or that you talk about on your podcast with Eric, like the growth and the change is is so important and you might be resistant to leave things behind, but once you start learning what you really want and need, and what's important can change. Yeah. So, um Oh, the next one. You can take the next one. This is easy. So, exhibitionism. Um this is Yeah. This is exposing yourself in a consensual public space. Uh also could be private in a private setting. I always I always find exhibition exhibitionism to be very similar to voyerism like you want to be se like you want you you want to be seen. Yeah. So voyer is the person watching. Exhibition is the person being that's that's being watched. Yes. Exhibitionist. Yeah. So they go hand in hand. Yeah. I've had a couple friends who've been and and you know, I'm not going to say I'm sure you've been, but possibly you've been. You know, they have some uh some clubs or some parties where their people are on, you know, display and and they're doing their thing. I know my my cousin went somewhere in Vegas and there was a um I forgot the name of the place. I wouldn't even say it if I knew it anyways, but Right. Um, you let me know off camera. Yeah, for sure. And so there they were. So he went to this club and it was it was a like a lounge type thing, but in the center everything was sort of around this middle. Uh there was a a a man and a woman and the woman was kind of teasing the man, giving him a little lap dance, wearing a lingerie, kind of things like this. And then they I I don't know how it happened, but she chose my cousin nice to uh enter into the arena, you know, enter into. And so he was there being watched by the majority of the people at this place to, you know, engage with her while her male partner sat, you know, as the cuck in the corner while they did their thing and everybody was uh witnessing this live. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's a real thing. Yeah. There's definitely a lot of that going on and there's and it's more and more it's a little it used to be so much more underground and now these things are like Yeah. And so there's parties, right? Um uh they're not just your old school tea parties from back in the day, right? Which those are making a comeback too. Um anyways, so yeah. um exhibition. In exhibition, it's not even like in a sexual sense, just like going to nudist camps, you know, like being able just to be seen naked. Um being free and liberated. Uh and that's just is even if like you're at home with your partner just walking around, you know, with the drapes open. Like I was talking to some people who that's like their form of exhibitionism, right? like they have all the drapes open and if you live in Chicago in a high-rise, this is and I'm voyeristic for sure, but you know, you just look out your window and you're like right across from someone's window, right? And people are just they're doing all their things in those buildings. They don't they don't give a [...] at all. They are completely drinking their coffee stretching in front of the W like no pants on. And I was like, that's so cool. Like bro, you get it, you know? Um, but there you go. It's just like and it's it can be simple or it can get into like the sexual stuff, you know, um, with the dungeons and and and the the different parties. So, yeah, it can be real simple. If you like walking around naked around your partner, you are an exhibitionist. There you go. You were already in this world and you didn't even know. Didn't even even know it. Yeah. People are like, "Yes, I'm kinky. We did it. We did it. Yay. Not boring. Yeah. Yeah. When I we I used to go to school downtown in Chicago and um we were across from a hotel. I forgot which hotel it was. Oh boy. A school. Oh jeez. Oh yeah. And so and we were higher up so we could see many many floors windows and there would be people having sex, naked people all like all the time. I mean I was always staring out the window hoping that during you know whatever lecture I was in I would be entertained by the uh the resident guests of the hotel. Amazing. Lucky you. Yeah, it was awesome. Oh, that's fantastic. That's so great. I love that. But it's anonymous, too, right? Cuz like you know someone's going to see you and then but they don't know who you are. You just Yeah. Right. You know what I mean? So that's actually illegal. Uh Oh, okay. Got it. Right. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. So, so also with the voyerism exhibition, it has to be consensual. So if someone is So they can be CNC, right? where you're in a party and you haven't given anyone like actual consent, but by being there, it's just like, ooh, someone ooh, someone might walk in and see me. Ooh, like that's like, oh, you know, like we're doing something naughty. Uh, so that's part of it, too. But like usually being in that that place, you've given consent that you're okay with people walking in. Um, at some places, some places have you actually sign things. Um, if you're like at someone's home, that's a different story. like they usually will have like a group introduction and kind of a get to know you circle and then when people go off to play there might be a private room that's a do not enter where some you know people are doing their thing and then there's rooms where you can open the door and watch um and that's more of in a private setting. Um so you're saying don't don't do that at like a baby shower or a christening don't do that at a baby shower at a christing probably not or you know your grandpa's 90th birthday party. Yeah, probably not like a good idea. Yeah, that's right. That's about a whole different level. Um, okay. So, do we we did talk a little bit about impact play a little bit? Impact. Yeah. If you talk about impact, it's um it's usually like that pain response, right? Um so, uh there's usually a top and a bottom. Top is a person that's using the mechanism where it could be a hand, it could be a flogger. That's like the little thing with all the little tassels on there. Um, crops paddles, you know, which paddles. Mhm. Um, so this is this is can be fun. Like the one thing to remember, you know, if you're listening to this, you're like, I want to try to like spank like there's certain areas, right? So we do the fleshy areas like breasts with consent, breasts, the the, you know, somebody's ass. Um, impact play can include the face, but there's a really there's a proper way to smack someone and there's a very improper way. So, like don't just think you can go and whale, right? Because that would not be good and it's not fun and it hurts a lot. So, um, so fleshy areas, but if you're going to use like something, there's areas to avoid like the sides like where the kidneys are. um different joints like the neck because you could really hurt someone. Yeah. Damage some things or kill them, you know, like so it could get really bad. But it can also be very fun. I mean, you've got like paper clips on the nipple. Not paper clips, like the clothes pins on the nipples for say paper clips. Yeah. Some people do like medical needles where they'll like do like almost like body art. I've seen be I say it's beautiful but it was is somebody had someone um you know where they take the the I don't know what you call them not the the dermic needles or the whatever those are whatever but they had feathers on them so they made her like have wings which was like it was so different and I didn't even know what it was but that was like part of that like I think that's actually a different thing I don't think that's impact but it's still pain um impact and also Um, be like I was saying with the hands. So, choking, slapping, you know, that's and that's usually what people just like, oh, a spank. If you spank your partner, you're kinky and you are into impact play. So, that's your gateway drug. But, um, yeah, and then being a bottom. And so, it can it can be very easy where it's just like a spank here. But then there's a lot of people that also like it like really rough and they love the bruises and the welts. And in my opinion for me, like that's it's scary cuz it's really um it's it's pretty intense the amount of bruising that can be had been get be given on a particular night and there's a lot of and from what I've talked with people who do engage in that. There's many days of afterare and like right bringing yourself down. So it's not just like you go through this cuz it's a it's a whole process and then after you're like I'm good. Like I don't know some people maybe but a lot of people there's a day or two. So usually those parties could be like on a Friday or Saturday and they take the next two days to recover from it cuz it's really intense. It's a lot on your nervous system. I mean you're you're aroused and then you're and then you're getting then you're you're accepting pain as part of that arousal. So you have to reeregulate your your system and that takes time, you know, and space. Yeah, absolutely. And so same thing like we were talking about a lot of these things when it comes to like with objects, they're not necessarily like you're having sex, you know, like not, you know, this is a lot of this stuff can just be like the act is what's creating like that arousal and stuff. So, um, yeah. So, that's that. Um, and then I think we had like there's oh, one we didn't talk about was the objectification, which I find really interesting. Yeah. Um, so when you take when you use basically the person that you're with, you're using them in something other than as a sentient being, right? So, a foot stool, a [...] toy, a hole, a piece of furniture, um, a urinal. So, you're just a urinal. A urinal. And it's just like you're using this per this person as just like whatever. And they're and this could be kind of like that dom again where we're talking about the dom and the um all the the the sub um the and it goes into the BDSM because it's the sadist and the masochist. So, it's one of those things where um it's like you're being talked to like I'm sitting there and I'm on all fours and someone just has their feet on me and I just sit there. They're reading a book. I mean, this is, you know, someone's dom can do this. And so, like my dom is just sitting there and I just sit there and I'm like, "Okay, madam or or whatever, can I can I get up?" and they just tell me to shut up and sit there and they can sit there for hours and if I get tired I get punished. If I move I get punished and that's the whole thing. Yeah. In some situations and it's so interesting that people love this or they just like when we think about like gang bangs, right? The the woman in the gang or man in the gang bang a lot of time um they don't they're not considering themselves as a person. And they're like, I'm a whole. I'm here for one purpose, and that is to have all these men or women use me and I'm the sole purpose of as being a whole. And it's it's interesting like no judgment. Um, but it's just an interesting concept that when you hear like the one girl that had like what, like a thousand guys or something in a day, you really have to think of yourself. You do not think you're human. You do not consider yourself a sentient being in that moment. You can't. Yes. So they have what's that what's that test called Fedra? What's that? That that's like the BDSM. Yeah. The BDSM test.org or something like that where you can Yeah. So people who are interested and you want to see where you where you kind of rank on on the scale of uh you know freaknick to uh to vanilla vanilla you know like drier's vanilla. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Not even French vanilla. No, not even French vanilla. Just straight van. It's just ice actually. It's just ice. It's frozen [Laughter] milk. That's it. Um it but you can look up like BDSM test and then they'll and they'll give it to you. And uh one of the questions on there is uh do you like to be used as a urinal? It's a real thing. Yeah. Yeah. I I mean I saw that question on I was like wow like no I don't think so. No. No. But obviously someone does because the question's on here. Um, however, I prefer not. But thank you. Me too. But thanks. Thanks for asking. Yeah. Yeah. Thanks for asking that question. Yeah, I appreciate it. Yeah, it's a good test. It's a very It takes some minutes though. It's not a short quiz. There's what, like a hundred questions or something. It was or 60 80. It was a It's a long test. So, if you're going to take it just for fun, I thought you think it's fun. And it's always changing. So, if you think right now you're like, "Oh, I'm really never going to be into this stuff." Once you start seeing that and start just kind of like doing a little research, I hope everyone gets like interested in some of this stuff and they're like, "Oh, this isn't so bad." Like, I think we gave a good Yeah. like that like a a good like high and low range for individuals. Yeah. Before you know, at first you start off with a little spank and before you know it, you're you're being paraded around your house naked like a dog on a collar drinking out of a bowl. Yes. Which is a huge thing. Absolutely. In a cage and then they keep you that old dog cage which you don't use anymore. You can stay in there. You can use it. Yes. And you could sell your house and move into a small apartment because you just need this little cage, you know. Absolutely. You're welcome for the financial advice, by the way. We're changing lives. Changing lives. That's right. Just like that. Awesome. Well, this was great, Fedra. Thank you. Yeah, we had a nice time. Um, Fedra, thank you so much for for being here and and sharing this. I know this is near and dear to your heart and it's nice to bring this, you know, I I know there's there's a lot happening in the world right now. You know, there's uh there's there's just a lot happening and and you know, we're we're we're kind of diving in uh to those spaces a little bit more on the psychological aspect of it. And so uh you know but we are still who we are which is you know beings of relation and and in sexuality and and trying to find pleasure as many places as we can in life because it is it is hard. It is overwhelming but we're not you know we're still here and we have to get through and it's better in my opinion to get through with a a more happy demeanor of finding more pleasure in in our existence so that we can deal with the stuff that is not so pleasurable in our daily existence. So, I I enjoy having these conversations and bringing the the spotlight to areas of of fun and maybe kink and fetish. Yay. So, um if you found this useful um or not useful, uh you know, like and uh someone that will. Yeah. But subscribe. It definitely helps out. It's totally free to you. Uh share our work if you find it uh interesting or you just want to troll somebody with it. That's fine, too, because maybe they might. You never know, you know. So, um yeah, like, subscribe, comment if you want to. If you have questions, uh, leave a comment in the YouTube, uh, hit us up at the Jyn and Tantra podcast or, um, at jyn and tantragmail.com. And for Fedra, this is Daniel. We'll catch you guys in the next one. Peace.